Comment ça va?

Uh, sorry -- I didn't realize I had comment moderation turned on, and a whole queue of comments dating back for months. I just published all of them. And here all this time I thought nobody loved me. Whoops!

Why I love Hüsbando, Reasons 72 & 73

#72 Because owns a sewing machine and knows how to use it.
#73 Because he is willing to make me a curtain for the window in my new cubicle at work.

"Creating a Life that Matters"

I know my brain is shriveling when an article in USA Today seems to speak directly to me. Even worse, it's a review of a book called Success Built to Last: Creating a Life That Matters — which sounds like it's in the vein of the Seven Highly Successful Habits of Rich People or Prestige for Dummies genre.

But as I read, I felt my sense of irony being suppressed. I was even nodding my head. The authors interviewed more than 200 people, including my heroes Steve Jobs and Alice Waters, and here's what they found:

The bottom-line conclusion about how successful people operate: "Their passions create meaning in their lives that is nothing short of a lifelong obsession from which they seek no escape."

The book/article also advises you to have a "portfolio of passions" — not just one that you're excited about. I agree: there's nothing more boring than someone who can only talk about one subject, and one subject only. I've been neglecting my other passions, politics and fiction (my own and others'), so this is a good reminder.

The subjects all had three essential traits in common (snarkiness: Of course, these traits have to get cheesy, trademarkable names):

•Meaning. What you do must matter deeply to you, so much so that you lose all track of time. It's a "flow experience."

•ThoughtStyle. You have a highly developed sense of accountability, audacity, passion and optimism.

•ActionStyle. You find effective ways to take action.

To quote Apple co-founder Jobs: "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." What's most important, says Jobs: "Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."

Anyway, it totally cheered me up. I had the chance to follow someone else's heart and intution recently, and very likely make a lot more money than I am now, but I just couldn't get excited about it. Whereas I happily spent the entire day yesterday trying to track down the exact techniques used to finish a particular brand of grass-fed beef.

I will never get rich from my Ethicurean obsession, but I'm happy to say I don't care — and that makes me just like these other "Builders."

Basically, I'm just starting to realize that I'm a late bloomer when it comes to idealism. When I am honest with myself, the reason I haven't yet written a novel or started my own business or quit my job to freelance is simple. I'm afraid. Not just of failing, but of looking ridiculous, or cheesy, or less successful materially than other people. But I have to say, once you're finally in motion, the joy of just going for it far outweighs the occasional pangs.

On creating instead of consuming

I just wrote my 100th post for The Ethicurean, the other blog I started with friends in May. Many of those have been news round-ups, so it's not quite as industrious as it sounds. But still. That's about 25 posts a month. And I'm tired.

The reason I started this blog, the personal one, in February was because I felt I had become too much of a consumer. And by that I don't mean shopper — I hate to shop, actually, unless it's for food or occasionally gadgets. I felt like I was spending way too much time reading books and magazines and watching TV and surfing the Internet and not nearly enough, if any, energy on creating (novel, art projects, home improvement, even cooking). So I began ranting and ruminating here, and soon enough I got the idea for the blog that I now realize combines two of my favorite subjects: food and politics.

And it's taken over my friggin' life. I feel like all I do is write write write, whether at work or for freelance or for the Ethicurean. I am not actually complaining; I have never been happier that I can remember. And yet I am starting to feel kind of drained and frazzled all the time, and like everything I do must be productive and efficient, which means few activities done for sheer pleasure.

Yesterday, however, I accidentally got my balance back in an unlikely way. I spent four hours doing yardwork. The sun was shining but not too hot, I had a good upbeat playlist on my iPod, and no crazy people bothered me as I picked up litter, weed-whacked, tied up vines, and then pruned back the insanely overgrown rose bushes, well-bloodying myself in the process. Then I made dinner — roasted-chicken salad and a tomato-bean stew — and Hüsbando and I watched "The Hustler," the black-and-white movie starring a young Paul Newman.

That last activity wasn't strictly for fun, as my book club at work has added a movie to the month's reading assignment, but it was very enjoyable. The pacing on old movies is so different than it is now, with lots more getting-to-and-from scenes and yet few drawn-out dialogue scenes. Newman was very compelling as a con man, and Piper Laurie — who I knew I recognized from somewhere but didn't come up with Twin Peaks — was transfixing as the doomed lush who loves him. And George C. Scott, who I've never seen as a young man, was perfect for the role of charming sleazeball. But when you get right down to it, I could watch Paul Newman in a silent 9-hour-long Andy Warhol film and be mesmerized. There's never been an actor as beautiful as him with as much talent, IMHO.

So today, all in all, I feel much less burdened and therefore more prolific. I hope not to let this blog languish like I have, as I like keeping record of my thought processes for inspiration and consolation later on down the line.